Helping the Battered Woman part 1

A Guide for Family and Friends

Millions of American women are physically and emotionally abused by their husbands or partners each year. Chances are someone you know - your mother, sister, friend, co-worker or neighbor - is a victim of domestic violence.

Perhaps you feel you friend's problem will work itself out. Nothing could be further from the truth. The violence will not end until someone takes action to stop it.

Your support and encouragement can be of tremendous value to a friend involved with an abusive man. You can ease the isolation and loss of control she may feel by listening to her, providing her with more information on domestic violence, and helping her to explore her options.

I did not know.

All intimate relationships have their problems, and sometimes it's difficult for others to decide when it's appropriate to intervene. Maybe your friend has mentioned trouble at home, and you've discussed her comments by saying all couples have problems. Ask yourself how you've reacted in the past to these possible signs that your friend is being abused and needs your help.

Have you readily accepted her explanations for visible injuries, such as black eyes, bruises, or broken bones? Do you tend not to press her further about frequent accidents that cause her to miss work?

Does her partner exert an unusual amount of control over her activities? Are you reluctant to discuss his control over family finances, the way she dresses, and her contact with friends and family?

If her partner ridicules her publicly, do you and others ignore his behavior or join in the laughter at her expense? Think about why you night not be willing to stand up for her. Do you already sense the volatile nature of his comments?

Have you noticed changes in her or her children's behavior? Does she appear frightened, exhausted, or on edge? Do the children seem to be easily upset? Are they experiencing sudden problems in school or other activities?

Adapted from Helping the Battered Woman: A Guide for Family and Friends The National Woman Abuse Prevention Project

More on Helping a Victim

What you should know about Domestic Violence part 2

What you can do part 3

For Your Safety

Erase internet Footprints - prevent abusers finding where you visit online.

Escape Site for a quick exit to google.com

1-800-892-8900 24 Hour McHenry County Crisis Line
1-800-799-SAFE National Crisis Hotline