What is Domestic Violence
Recognize Violence in your Relationship
Domestic violence is a repeated pattern of behaviors for the purpose of power and control. It is behavior that physically injures or violates intimate partners or family members. The abuse may be subtle; many people do not recognize at first.
Domestic violence includes abuse that does not have to be physical.
Physical violence is a particular type of abuse. There are other types of abuse as well. These include emotional abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, and social abuse.
The main patterns of abusive behavior include aggression, anger, domination, intimidation, manipulation, punishment and control.
Victims of continued abuse often fear their abusers. They often are - or think they are - dependent on their abusers. They may be afraid of the harm that will come to them if they leave or attempt to leave their abusers.
If you are a victim of abuse and have feelings of fear and dependency, you should know that your abuser counts on these fears and dependencies to continue the abuse.
Abusers do not necessarily look abusive. They may be attractive, charming, and well dressed. They may be people we do business with, people who live next door, and people we think well of and trust. Abusers are doctor, lawyers, mechanics, grocers, and teachers. They may be members of law enforcement, politicians, neighbors, family, and friends - casual dates.
Abuse happens among the rich and the poor, among people with influence and power and those without it, among professionals and the unemployed. It occurs in urban and rural populations and in diverse ethnic cultures.
It is not restricted by age, social status, sexual orientation, or class. But - abusive behavior is learned behavior, and it can be changed.
Patterns of Domination and Control
Contrary to popular opinion, abuse is not an isolated or random incident in a relationship; it is a pattern of behavior.
It is not a loss of control, but the opposite. NO, the violent man is not out of control. He is a man at work on his own agenda, which is to train his woman to be what he wants her to be, and only what he wants her to be, all the time.
Abusive behavior is a pattern that attempts to establish dominance and control over and to harm its victims.
Controlling, intimidating, humiliating, manipulating, punitive, and violent actions are used to reinforce one person's authority over and oppression of another.
Abuse may occur unpredictably or in regular patterns over a short or long time. It may happen occasionally or repeatedly. It may happen every day, every week, every month, or every year.
All abuse ultimately reinforces one underlying theme - that one person retains control over the other.
If you are involved with an abuser, mistreatment can break down your sense of self-worth and steal your personal power. It can enforce learned helplessness (an acquired feeling that you cannot do things right, survive on your own, or escape your abuse).
The immediate benefits of battering and control are known by both abuser and victim.
Men benefit from having placating wives; they do not have to bother with daily negotiations over children, housecleaning, or the allocation of each partner's leisure time.
Some battered women insure that everything runs smoothly so that nothing irritates their men.
Tactics of domination and control are the cornerstones of violent and abusive behavior.
For Your Safety
Erase internet Footprints - prevent abusers finding where you visit online.
Escape Site for a quick exit to google.com
1-800-892-8900 24 Hour McHenry County Crisis Line
1-800-799-SAFE National Crisis Hotline
